Pretty much

Dec. 3rd, 2012 02:35 pm
goldvermilion87: (littlejohn)
My mom's Westie smells VILE.

That is all you need to know



LIL' BRO: Tess, you smell like an enormous poop!
DAD: [Lil' Bro], you can stop saying things like that.
LIL' BRO: Just keepin' it real, Dad.
goldvermilion87: (littlejohn)
So, my dad and mom don't agree on everything.

How close to the edge their son should live, for example:

HIKE OF DEATH

And sometimes, they even FIGHT:

MOM:  Hon, I NEED you to take that out to the car!

DAD:  Well, I WON'T take that out to the car!

*smooch*

MOM: Well, if you don't I'll be VERY angry!

*smooch*

DAD:  Well, then, I'll just have to risk it!

*smooch*


-------

Lil' Bro's face when this was happening this morning:

Untitled

--------------------

Other times they use rational arguments:

MOM: Now I am going to explain why [buying a specific fire-pit] is a VERY stupid idea.

[explanation, which included "I have worked long and hard to make our house not look like a garage sale".]

MOM: So if you do it, you should know that it will be a personal insult to me!


---------------------------------

And sometimes there's not much to say:

MOM: [explaining the John Milton and his wife/Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce thingy to my dad] ...and eventually she came back and they had 4 kids together. And the most fascinating thing about it is when she came back, she brought her parents with her! Wouldn't you love to be a fly on that wall!

DAD: Not particularly.


----------------------------------


It's Thanksgiving Day [still in some places in America].  And this is my tribute to two people I'm VERY thankful for -- my crazy dad and mom.  :-)
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Background:  A student injured himself pretty badly playing a soccer game.  It was either a bad sprain or a fracture.  He was considering playing in the final game and THEN going to the doctor.  My mom told my dad about it.  My dad pointed out that if he had a fracture he might injure it further and not be able to train for track and field (a sport the student has competed in at a national level.)

ME:  Yeah, that's a big risk.

MOM:  No, we don't know if it's a risk or not, yet.

DAD:  Hon, that's what a risk is.

Awwwwww!

Oct. 9th, 2012 12:10 pm
goldvermilion87: (Default)
For some reason people have been calling me "Sherlock" a lot over the past week.  Dunno why particularly, but it started with someone who thought my intense apprehension of being anaesthetized made me like Sherlock and ended with a friend thinking the picture of myself looking all miserable looked like Sherlock.  And there were several in between  I haven't decided yet whether to be flattered or insulted.

But that is why this story amused me so much.




So, yesterday I was complaining about a DVD I had to watch.  I liked it when it was the dude lecturing, but when it went to any sort of visual aid, I would get annoyed.  In particular, there was an instance when the dude talks about "faith like a little child."  Then he says "let's see what that means."  Up pops a little boy on a diving board looking all scared.  There is music playing in the background.  Then he sees his mom telling him to jump and he becomes happy and jumps to her. I thought this was over the top and ridiculous.  I told my mom.  And she said there were people crying when they were watching it.  I said, Seriously?  I thought it was the dumbest--

MOM:  This from the girl who couldn't understand why a baby would cry!  Your opinion here isn't very valuable.

ME:  What?

MOM: It was when you were really little.  Two or three.  I was watching a baby for the day.  And he was just really little, and I wasn't his mom, and it was the end of the day.  I fed him and burped him, but he was still crying.  I checked and he didn't need to be changed.  So you went over to him and said, "Stop crying.  You have nothing to cry about.  Why are you crying?  You have no reason to cry." And you couldn't see why he could possibly be sad even though he wanted his mom.

ME:  *snrk*



I must have been a lovely child.
goldvermilion87: (Default)
It's 3:30 AM and I'm about to watch the first episode of Sherlock and I'm trying to drink a cup of tea while not wearing a gauze moustache which is against medical advice.  I can call this post whatever I like.

Plus, I totally laughed out loud when I thought about it.

I got surgery yesterday morning -- septum/turbinet related.  In a few weeks I should be able to breathe properly through my nose!

However, I was really freaked out about undergoing general anaesthesia.  I realized on Wednesday that it's because I firmly believe this will happen when I wake up:



I had the same problem fifteen years ago when I got a kidney biopsy, though I didn't think of it in Spockian terms at the time.

Anyway, I didn't realize it, but I was tensing up for about the past five days.  I haven't experienced any pain in the 15ish hours since the surgery because I'm pretty sure I've been experiencing a huge long adrenaline rush.  Which is actually a bit funny.  Because I'm supposed to be sitting down, and instead I'm pacing around the house and driving my family (and my dog) crazy.

But that's not the lol.

So, I am, as I said before, totally freaked out about general anaesthesia.  I might be a bit of a control freak.  I don't drink wine to excess, and I have no intention of trying any drugs (other than caffeine, of course) because ACK I WON'T BE COMPLETELY IN CONTROL!  (I said this to the anaesthesiologist.  He seemed a bit offended.)

When I woke up, my first thought was, "The doctor said to try breathing through my nose right away so I could tell the difference before everything swells up!"  And I did it.

My next thought (well, I'm skipping the the thoughts of "the oxygen mask is helping me breathe so it cannot possibly be choking me okay!") was "How long have I been awake?  HAVE I BEEN DOING STUPID THINGS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?"

So I asked the nurse -- "Have I done anything really dumb?"  He looked at me a bit funny and said "No."  Then he started telling me about some reactions. (Nurse about 50, with a big beard and a long ponytail)  One woman apparently screamed and when he asked what it was she said, "Oh!  I thought you were my cat." Another said, "You must be a rike bider."

I was rather relieved that I'd done neither of those things.  Nor had I declared my undying love for anyone in the room or in any fictional universe.  Nor had I...

Then there was a teeny bit of medical drama and the nurse had to redo the dressing on my nose.  He opened the packaging for the gauze, so it was sitting on my lap.  I was looking at it from the inside of the package.  I saw this:

ezuaG
eganopS


[Though of course the letters were backwards, too.]

"Sponage?", I wondered.  Surely the word should be "Sponge."

But I looked again, and it said "Sponage."

So, out of some combination of obsession with words and obsession with proving to myself that despite feeling atrocious I was in full control of my faculties, I said,

"Sponage?  Is that a type of gauze?  Or a word in another language that means "gauze"?  Or..."
"No, the word is sponge.  We call this a sponge."
"Oh..."

And I looked again, and it actually said...

egnopS

And the nurse wondered why I didn't want to take any percoset!

goldvermilion87: (littlejohn)
ME:  Has anyone seen my tiny iPod?   I had it yesterday and I thought I brought it upstairs and I can't find it.

EVERYONE:  Nope.

ME:  Well, if anyone does see it, please let me know, because I know it's in the house and I can't...

DAD:  I saw Farmor playing with it.

FARMOR:  What?

ME:  Dad did you do something with it?

FARMOR: I didn't!

DAD:  Yeah, I saw Farmor playing with it yesterday.

FARMOR:  [confused]

ME:  Dad, you're grinning.  Did you take it?

DAD:  ["innocent face"]  What?  I told you!  I saw Farmor playing with it.

FARMOR:  I...

ME:  Dad, WHERE IS IT?

DAD:  All I'm saying is I saw Farmor with it.

[At this point I start digging around in the pockets of a few of my farmor's jackets that are hanging on the bannister]

FARMOR:  No, really!  I didn't.  You don't need to check my pockets. I wasn't....

ME:  HAHA!  [holding up iPod]  Dad!  Why did you put it in there?

DAD:  I told you Farmor was playing with it!

-------------------------

5 Minutes later my Dad is STILL giggling.
goldvermilion87: (Default)
As background, my brother has been chided more than once for letting out ENORMOUS burps in public... and not even saying "excuse me."  He is always defending himself on grounds of being a teenage boy, etc.  But recently he has taken to pointing out whenever anyone else burps.

LIL' BRO:  GOLDIE JUST BURPED!  MOM!  SHE DID!
ME:  Well, I kept my mouth closed.
LIL' BRO:  WELL SO DO I!  MOM... SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
ME:  Well, Mom didn't hear it.  That's the point.
MOM:  Yeah, you know -- if a tree falls and nobody hears it.
LIL' BRO:  Yeah, but just because my tree is A GREAT RED OAK and yours are tiny pathetic ones doesn't mean that...

ME and MOM:  *giggle*
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Lil' Bro and I went to see the original casting version of Danny Boyle's Frankenstein today.  (Jonny Lee Miller as Frankenstein, Benedict Cumberbatch as the monster). 

First, the adventure, because no moment in my life is complete without one.  Not that exciting this time, but hey, you take what you can get.  We live about an hour from New Brunswick, where it was playing.  We were going to leave at 5:30 for a 7:00 showing, but decided to leave around 4:45 so we could stop for dinner.  We stopped at Friendly's.  We ate really quickly.  Probably more quickly than necessary.  But I wanted to be on time.  At 5:30, as we were gobbling down our entrees, I asked the Bro if he wanted Ice Cream.  I don't know why I had to ask.  So I stopped the waitress and asked if we could make our ice cream orders, even though we were only halfway through our meals, for the sake of time.  "Sure!" she said.  At 5:40 I was definitely done with my meal, though Lil' Bro, who believes (he told me this) that eating as much as possible is a challenge that he must accept, was still bravely disposing of french fries.  At 5:45 he was done.  At 5:50, I started staring at the fountain.  At 5:55 I handed Lil' Bro the credit card with instructions that he ask for the check when the ice cream was served, so I could go to the ladies room.  At 6:00 I came back to find the table empty.  By 6:05  I was getting a bit twitchy.  We didn't get the ice cream until 6:10.  But we got there in time, so it was all good. 

Second, the theatre.  We got out of our car, and I saw a mini-van across from it.  It had a TARDIS sticker.  It had Doctor Who quotations.  It had Sherlock stickers.  It had an "I AM SHER LOCKED" sticker. And at that moment I realized OH NO!   CUMBERBITCHES!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  I heard from another friend recently that they can be really disgusting, as if their self-proclaimed name was not evidence enough.  WHAT IF I HAD TO ENDURE THEM ALL THROUGH THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!  Then, I noticed that the theatre was filled with mostly all girls.  Then I saw someone in a Sherlock hat (Random aside -- You'd think the Kitty Reilly bathroom scene would be a discouragement for that behaior?).  I was really worried.  I chose a row where the people looked sensible (near an old man and his son, for example) and hoped for the best.  It turned out that I didn't have much to fear.  Every time the Monster said anything even remotely possibly a tad sad, they all went AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Which was irritating, but not the end of the world.  I will be amused if Cumberbatch!Frankenstein elicits this response.  Amused and disgusted.  But more amused.

The show itself.  I have a love-hate relationship with Frankenstein.  The story is reasonably interesting.  It is a Paradise Lost adaptation -- one of my hobby-horses.  And it's an excellent example of Romanticism.  But the writing is HORRIBLE.  Besides, it's an excellent example of Romanticism.

The writer (whose name has escaped me) took all the best things from the book, in my opinion.  He really focused on the Paradise Lost connections.  Also it was no longer Mary Shelley's she-really-could-have-used-an-editor writing.  (Though the weird monster-birthing scene had to have been five minutes long... I am thinking of that as a nod to her writing.  :-P )  I really felt for the characters in a way that I don't when I read the book.  I got a bit teary several times.  And there was a smattering of humor, which was refreshing just because it was humor, and also because it seemed to make light of some of the more ridiculous things that Mary Shelley seems to take very seriously.  (The monster learning to read from Paradise Lost, for example.)  It was more horrible as well -- Elizabeth died in a way that when it happened I realized I should have seen coming the whole time but didn't

The set was very interesting.  Minimalist with a rotating-plus-other-weird-stuff stage.  The lighting was hundreds of bulbs with very obvious filaments.  It looked cool, and they did a lot of neat effects with them.  I felt like they were trying to say something very very deep about industry that didn't quite come through.  I mean, certainly there was discussion of the whole scientist-plays-God aspect of Frankenstein, but the random train thing made of gears was puzzling.

And finally, the acting.  I'm going to see the reverse casting tomorrow, but I am pretty sure this is a better fit.  Physically speaking Cumberbatch as the monster and Miller as Frankenstein is the obvious choice.  Miller is small and ferrety looking.  Cumberbatch is a bit taller, and just WEIRD looking.  To quote Lil' Bro, "He almost looks more normal as the monster."  Cumberbatch also has a stronger voice, which fit for the interaction between Frankenstein and his monster.  And finally, though I might be unfair to judge this from this production (since the monster gives more acting opportunity) I do think Cumberbatch is a better actor, and the monster is a demanding role.  That being said, I'm sure the reverse casting will be wonderful.  I just suspect that this is the better of the two versions.

Finally, two details for any interested seeing it in the future.  The rumors of Cumberbatch nudity were grossly exaggerated. He is never nude, though I echo my brother in his opinion that when he was wearing only pants, "I saw more of Cumberbatch than I ever wanted to see.  Ever."  But I suppose the monster should gross us out a bit, so yeah... And then, no one mentioned the topless female corpse in the I'll-make-you-a-bride-JUST-KIDDING-LET-ME-TEAR-HER-TO-SHREDS-IN-FRONT-OF-YOU!!!! scene.  But I thought it was appropriate to the production, even if it meant my brother couldn't watch it. 

I guess that's all.  An overall enjoyable experience.  I would highly recommend it, and I sincerely hope it makes it to DVD.
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Lil' Bro and I went to see the original casting version of Danny Boyle's Frankenstein today.  (Jonny Lee Miller as Frankenstein, Benedict Cumberbatch as the monster). 

First, the adventure, because no moment in my life is complete without one.  Not that exciting this time, but hey, you take what you can get.  We live about an hour from New Brunswick, where it was playing.  We were going to leave at 5:30 for a 7:00 showing, but decided to leave around 4:45 so we could stop for dinner.  We stopped at Friendly's.  We ate really quickly.  Probably more quickly than necessary.  But I wanted to be on time.  At 5:30, as we were gobbling down our entrees, I asked the Bro if he wanted Ice Cream.  I don't know why I had to ask.  So I stopped the waitress and asked if we could make our ice cream orders, even though we were only halfway through our meals, for the sake of time.  "Sure!" she said.  At 5:40 I was definitely done with my meal, though Lil' Bro, who believes (he told me this) that eating as much as possible is a challenge that he must accept, was still bravely disposing of french fries.  At 5:45 he was done.  At 5:50, I started staring at the fountain.  At 5:55 I handed Lil' Bro the credit card with instructions that he ask for the check when the ice cream was served, so I could go to the ladies room.  At 6:00 I came back to find the table empty.  By 6:05  I was getting a bit twitchy.  We didn't get the ice cream until 6:10.  But we got there in time, so it was all good. 

Second, the theatre.  We got out of our car, and I saw a mini-van across from it.  It had a TARDIS sticker.  It had Doctor Who quotations.  It had Sherlock stickers.  It had an "I AM SHER LOCKED" sticker. And at that moment I realized OH NO!   CUMBERBITCHES!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  I heard from another friend recently that they can be really disgusting, as if their self-proclaimed name was not evidence enough.  WHAT IF I HAD TO ENDURE THEM ALL THROUGH THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!  Then, I noticed that the theatre was filled with mostly all girls.  Then I saw someone in a Sherlock hat (Random aside -- You'd think the Kitty Reilly bathroom scene would be a discouragement for that behaior?).  I was really worried.  I chose a row where the people looked sensible (near an old man and his son, for example) and hoped for the best.  It turned out that I didn't have much to fear.  Every time the Monster said anything even remotely possibly a tad sad, they all went AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Which was irritating, but not the end of the world.  I will be amused if Cumberbatch!Frankenstein elicits this response.  Amused and disgusted.  But more amused.

The show itself.  I have a love-hate relationship with Frankenstein.  The story is reasonably interesting.  It is a Paradise Lost adaptation -- one of my hobby-horses.  And it's an excellent example of Romanticism.  But the writing is HORRIBLE.  Besides, it's an excellent example of Romanticism.

The writer (whose name has escaped me) took all the best things from the book, in my opinion.  He really focused on the Paradise Lost connections.  Also it was no longer Mary Shelley's she-really-could-have-used-an-editor writing.  (Though the weird monster-birthing scene had to have been five minutes long... I am thinking of that as a nod to her writing.  :-P )  I really felt for the characters in a way that I don't when I read the book.  I got a bit teary several times.  And there was a smattering of humor, which was refreshing just because it was humor, and also because it seemed to make light of some of the more ridiculous things that Mary Shelley seems to take very seriously.  (The monster learning to read from Paradise Lost, for example.)  It was more horrible as well -- Elizabeth died in a way that when it happened I realized I should have seen coming the whole time but didn't

The set was very interesting.  Minimalist with a rotating-plus-other-weird-stuff stage.  The lighting was hundreds of bulbs with very obvious filaments.  It looked cool, and they did a lot of neat effects with them.  I felt like they were trying to say something very very deep about industry that didn't quite come through.  I mean, certainly there was discussion of the whole scientist-plays-God aspect of Frankenstein, but the random train thing made of gears was puzzling.

And finally, the acting.  I'm going to see the reverse casting tomorrow, but I am pretty sure this is a better fit.  Physically speaking Cumberbatch as the monster and Miller as Frankenstein is the obvious choice.  Miller is small and ferrety looking.  Cumberbatch is a bit taller, and just WEIRD looking.  To quote Lil' Bro, "He almost looks more normal as the monster."  Cumberbatch also has a stronger voice, which fit for the interaction between Frankenstein and his monster.  And finally, though I might be unfair to judge this from this production (since the monster gives more acting opportunity) I do think Cumberbatch is a better actor, and the monster is a demanding role.  That being said, I'm sure the reverse casting will be wonderful.  I just suspect that this is the better of the two versions.

Finally, two details for any interested seeing it in the future.  The rumors of Cumberbatch nudity were grossly exaggerated. He is never nude, though I echo my brother in his opinion that when he was wearing only pants, "I saw more of Cumberbatch than I ever wanted to see.  Ever."  But I suppose the monster should gross us out a bit, so yeah... And then, no one mentioned the topless female corpse in the I'll-make-you-a-bride-JUST-KIDDING-LET-ME-TEAR-HER-TO-SHREDS-IN-FRONT-OF-YOU!!!! scene.  But I thought it was appropriate to the production, even if it meant my brother couldn't watch it. 

I guess that's all.  An overall enjoyable experience.  I would highly recommend it, and I sincerely hope it makes it to DVD.

:-D

Apr. 10th, 2012 02:03 pm
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Yes, I did just get my Farmor hooked on Sherlock.

:-D

Apr. 10th, 2012 02:03 pm
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Yes, I did just get my Farmor hooked on Sherlock.
goldvermilion87: (Default)
(And for friends who love you enough to give you a hard time when you don't actually follow your program...)

MY EYES LOOK NOTICEABLY BIGGER!

(No, I did not use this as an excuse to eat an absolutely ENORMOUS sandwich today.  Why do you ask?)

PS:  Little Brother's reaction to this announcement:

"You should to what Two-Face did and melt half your face off. Then your eyes would look REALLY big."
goldvermilion87: (Default)
(And for friends who love you enough to give you a hard time when you don't actually follow your program...)

MY EYES LOOK NOTICEABLY BIGGER!

(No, I did not use this as an excuse to eat an absolutely ENORMOUS sandwich today.  Why do you ask?)

PS:  Little Brother's reaction to this announcement:

"You should to what Two-Face did and melt half your face off. Then your eyes would look REALLY big."
goldvermilion87: (Default)
LIL’ BRO: So today, [Bro’s buddy] went into the computer room and said to Mr. L., “Do you know that [Lil’ bro] is an impudent scrumpit?” because he didn’t know what a scrumpit was… And then Mr. L. says “What’s that?” And he says “I don’t know” so we look it up and Mr. L is like… yeah, he made a face, and we were like...

ME: Do you mean “strumpet?”
goldvermilion87: (Default)
LIL’ BRO: So today, [Bro’s buddy] went into the computer room and said to Mr. L., “Do you know that [Lil’ bro] is an impudent scrumpit?” because he didn’t know what a scrumpit was… And then Mr. L. says “What’s that?” And he says “I don’t know” so we look it up and Mr. L is like… yeah, he made a face, and we were like...

ME: Do you mean “strumpet?”
goldvermilion87: (Default)
DAD: Oh! Did I tell you that D---'s plane had to land in Canada because a passenger had a heart attack?

ME: Where?

DAD: I don't remember ... something with an I and Q

ME: Qikiqtarjuaq?

DAD: I don't know... Iqilac? Or something?

ME: You're sure it wasn't Qikiqtarjuaq?

DAD: How do you spell it?

ME: Q I K I Q T A R J U A Q

DAD: No, it definitely started "I Q"

MOM: You sure? You could have gotten that wrong. It could be Qikiqtarjuaq.



---

Sadly, it was Iqaluit
goldvermilion87: (Default)
DAD: Oh! Did I tell you that D---'s plane had to land in Canada because a passenger had a heart attack?

ME: Where?

DAD: I don't remember ... something with an I and Q

ME: Qikiqtarjuaq?

DAD: I don't know... Iqilac? Or something?

ME: You're sure it wasn't Qikiqtarjuaq?

DAD: How do you spell it?

ME: Q I K I Q T A R J U A Q

DAD: No, it definitely started "I Q"

MOM: You sure? You could have gotten that wrong. It could be Qikiqtarjuaq.



---

Sadly, it was Iqaluit
goldvermilion87: (Default)
My parents might be selling the house, so my mom, armed with hours upon hours of HGTV experience is decorating our house to make it more attractive to buyers.  She had my dad hang up a whole bunch of art in their bedroom, including a monstrosity meant to look like dragonflies above their bed.

Thirty seconds ago:

LIL' BRO:  EVERYBODY!!!!! I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN EPIC FAIL

EVERYBODY:  What?

LIL' BRO:  THE THING ABOVE YOUR BED HAS ALREADY FALLEN DOWN!  HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

MOM:  See, Hon!  I TOLD you...
goldvermilion87: (Default)
My parents might be selling the house, so my mom, armed with hours upon hours of HGTV experience is decorating our house to make it more attractive to buyers.  She had my dad hang up a whole bunch of art in their bedroom, including a monstrosity meant to look like dragonflies above their bed.

Thirty seconds ago:

LIL' BRO:  EVERYBODY!!!!! I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN EPIC FAIL

EVERYBODY:  What?

LIL' BRO:  THE THING ABOVE YOUR BED HAS ALREADY FALLEN DOWN!  HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

MOM:  See, Hon!  I TOLD you...
goldvermilion87: (Default)
Mentioned to a few people that you could genuinely write a sitcom based on my family watching TV.

Realized the only person who could possibly write this sitcom is me.

NOW I KNOW WHAT TO WRITE!

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