Baskervilles poem

I tried to write a poem to contribute to MrsPencil's Moor Verse on fanfiction.net.  This was the bizarre result:

Tic(k)s

Each month with one pipette I dose my pup,
My Arthur, with some liquid Frontline Plus ™
To kill the ticks that on his blood would sup,
And induce lyme, and produce scabs and pus.
Just so, I wish, had Doyle destroyed the “tic”
That crept into a country doctor’s prose
And made what had been perfect meter sick
And made the hopeful fangirl shout, “O NOES!”
Perhaps if I had understood sprung rhythm
I would’ve done a Hopkins with these words
But since I don’t, I can do nothing with ‘em
That’s not (me-TER-ic-AL-ly) for the birds
     If only in iambs did the words resound:
     “They were the footprints of a giant hound!”



(Just in case you haven't memorized lines from The Hound of the Baskervilles:  Dr. Mortimer says "They were the footprints of a gigantic hound!" which is most emphatically not iambic pentameter.  *sigh*)

(Also, the "y" in "only" in the penultimate line should be elided with "in".  I have to defend my meter.  :-D)
 

Baskervilles poem

I tried to write a poem to contribute to MrsPencil's Moor Verse on fanfiction.net.  This was the bizarre result:

Tic(k)s

Each month with one pipette I dose my pup,
My Arthur, with some liquid Frontline Plus ™
To kill the ticks that on his blood would sup,
And induce lyme, and produce scabs and pus.
Just so, I wish, had Doyle destroyed the “tic”
That crept into a country doctor’s prose
And made what had been perfect meter sick
And made the hopeful fangirl shout, “O NOES!”
Perhaps if I had understood sprung rhythm
I would’ve done a Hopkins with these words
But since I don’t, I can do nothing with ‘em
That’s not (me-TER-ic-AL-ly) for the birds
     If only in iambs did the words resound:
     “They were the footprints of a giant hound!”



(Just in case you haven't memorized lines from The Hound of the Baskervilles:  Dr. Mortimer says "They were the footprints of a gigantic hound!" which is most emphatically not iambic pentameter.  *sigh*)

(Also, the "y" in "only" in the penultimate line should be elided with "in".  I have to defend my meter.  :-D)