Sherlock Fic: Where Dreams Come True (1/4)
Feb. 5th, 2011 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goldvermilion87Where Dreams Come True
or
What we did on our Holiday
A play in three acts
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Mr. Sherlock Holmes, the world’s greatest detective and worst flatmate
Dr. John H. Watson, retired army surgeon and the world’s most patient flatmate
Mr. Mycroft Holmes, the government, and also the world’s most infuriating busybody
Receptionist at Disneyland Hotel, The world’s least offensive receptionist.
Manager at Disneyland Hotel, The world’s most put upon hotel manager
Park Employee at the Tower of Terror Picture booth, the world’s most grossed out park employee
Kid from Basque Country, the world’s most ignored thirteen year old
Ryan, the world’s most adoring five year old
Melinda Kirk, Ryan’s mother
Ron Kirk, Ryan’s father
Alexandra, a dark shadow from Sherlock’s past
Ty, the world’s most confused seven year old
Jennifer, an American, Ty’s mother
Various Park Attendants and Tourists
Act One
In which our heroes embark on their adventure
Scene One
[12 January, 7:53PM. Living room of the the flat at 221B Baker Street. Dr. John Watson is seated at the table, watching YouTube videos on his laptop and occasionally giggling to himself. Mr. Sherlock Holmes is stretched out on the sofa, reading his email. It becomes increasingly evident that he does not like what he sees.]
SHERLOCK: What is this rubbish?
JOHN [looking up from his laptop]: Hm?
SHERLOCK: Why do I receive all of these unsolicited emails?
JOHN: Sherlock, everyone gets junk mail.
SHERLOCK: Not everyone gets a free trip to Disneyland Paris.
JOHN: What?!
SHERLOCK [reading]: ‘You’ve won a free two-day trip to Disneyland Paris.’ Rubbish. Not a single case.
JOHN: Everyone gets offers for free stuff on the internet. It’s just junk mail.
SHERLOCK: No, this is real.
JOHN: You sure? When is the trip, then?
SHERLOCK [gets up, leaving laptop open on the sofa]: I don’t know. You can look at the email. I’m going to see if there’s anything on the telly.
Scene Two
[12 January, 10:40PM. Same location. Sherlock is seated in an armchair by the television, channel surfing. John is seated on the couch, reading something on Sherlock’s laptop.]
JOHN: Hm. I’ve searched around online a bit, and it is real.
SHERLOCK [without taking his eyes of the telly]: I said as much two and a half hours ago.
JOHN [ignoring him]: And we don’t have anything planned from the eighteenth to the twentieth of February. I’ll just fill this in for you, then?
SHERLOCK: Yes…What? NO!
JOHN: Sherlock, it’s a trip. To Disneyland. For FREE!
SHERLOCK [turning around to look at John]: People are such idiots when it comes to free stuff. It is completely irrational to take something you don’t want just because you don’t have to pay for it.
[Pause]
JOHN [sighs]: Tea?
Scene Three
[13 January, 2:46PM. Same Location. John is seated at the table drinking tea, staring at the wall, and occasionally attempting to solve a a crossword puzzle. He looks up as Sherlock enters and begins divesting himself of coat and gloves]
JOHN: You know, it could be our company retreat.
SHERLOCK: What are you on about?
JOHN: Disneyland. It could be our company retreat.
SHERLOCK: What?
JOHN: You know—members of a company go out and do something fun together. Bonding, communication, that sort of thing...synergy...
SHERLOCK: I know what a company retreat is, John. I also know what “synergy” means, which is more than can be said for you, I’m sure.
JOHN: So, our detective agency—we can go on a retreat to Disneyland.
SHERLOCK: We’re not a detective agency.
JOHN: Yes we are! All we need is a good name... Like ‘Crimebusters!’
SHERLOCK [incredulous]: What?
JOHN: You know—[á la Ghostbusters theme song] Who you gonna call? CRIMEBUSTERS!—that should be our company name.
SHERLOCK: First of all, John, if that name appears in your blog, I will personally write a virus that will wipe out every byte of information on your computer irretrievably. Secondly, we live in the same flat. Why should we go on a retreat?
JOHN: Different setting to bond in.
SHERLOCK: We have bonded more than enough.
JOHN: No pun--
SHERLOCK: Don’t say it, John.
Scene Four
[15 January, 7:32AM. The kitchen in 221B Baker Street. John is eating eggs and toast at the more cleared end of the table. Sherlock is doing something with an eyeball, a bunsen burner, and a beaker of orange liquid. He does not seem very interested in what he is doing, and keeps huffing in frustration]
JOHN: As your doctor, I am prescribing rest and relaxation.
SHERLOCK: I haven’t had a case in a week and a half. I’m getting more rest and relaxation than I can take.
JOHN: Staying cooped up in this flat, living on tea and Chinese takeaway is hardly rest and relaxation. You need a change of scene.
SHERLOCK [petulantly]: I need a case.
JOHN: But what if you didn’t get a case between now and February? You’d just be lying here on the couch coming up with new ways to destroy the flat.
SHERLOCK: Don’t get a case for a month? There is no way that Scotland Yard would be able to survive that long without me. If I don’t get a case between now and the time of the trip, I will go.
JOHN: Is that a promise?
SHERLOCK [dismissively]: Fine.
JOHN [gets up from the table, and starts putting on his coat]: Well, I’m going out. You should fill in that form, then.
Scene Five
[15 January, 10:22AM. Living Room in 221B Baker Street. Sherlock is listening to the sound of steps. He begins speaking before John, carrying several shopping bags, has entered the room]
SHERLOCK: This is all your fault!
JOHN [carrying bags into the kitchen]: What?
SHERLOCK: This trip—it’s all your fault.
JOHN: Wha--How?
SHERLOCK: I won it from a raffle at Westfield Shopping Centre.
JOHN: How does that make it my fault?
SHERLOCK: I have never been to Westfield Shopping Centre.
JOHN [returning to the living room]: Well, I never entered you into a raffle for Disneyland Paris tickets. Besides, we probably won’t be going anyway.
SHERLOCK: You must have.
JOHN: Why would I…[look of realization] Oh…
SHERLOCK: Yes?
JOHN [sheepishly]: I might have entered you in a raffle for a car, with the trip as the second prize.
SHERLOCK: Why would you do that?
JOHN: Well, you can’t drive, so I thought you’d let me use it. And I was only able to enter myself once.
SHERLOCK [rolls his eyes]: Idiot.
Scene Six
[23 January, 10:54PM. Abandoned Construction Site. Mr. Mycroft Holmes is standing near a black sedan with darkened windows. John is glaring at him]
MYCROFT: Dr. John Watson.
JOHN: Mycroft, for the last time, I’m not spying on your brother for you.
MYCROFT: Perhaps. But I did not bring you here to discuss that. It has come to my attention that you and Sherlock might be going to Disneyland Paris.
JOHN: And?
MYCROFT: And you won’t be going if my…delightful brother should get another case before February 18th.
JOHN: No.
MYCROFT: I know that you want to go, John. And I could make it happen. I personally recommended that my brother win the raffle.
JOHN: What? How did you…
MYCROFT: Don’t ask, John. It would be so inconvenient if I were forced to take...drastic measures against you. I do not believe there is another man in England who could put up with Sherlock’s puerility the way you do.
JOHN [sullen]: You might have won us the Mercedes.
MYCROFT: I might have, but I did not deem it to be necessary.
JOHN [under his breath]: Of course.
MYCROFT: However, I will ensure that there be no cases between now and the date of the trip. I trust I can assume you will not speak of this to Sherlock.
JOHN: Erm…No. No, I won’t.
MYCROFT: Good. Very good.
JOHN: I can go now?
MYCROFT: Just one more thing. According to my sources you once fancied yourself an amateur photographer. You will find a camera in your bedroom when you get home. I am expecting photographic evidence that my brother has indeed spent two days in Disneyland.
JOHN: Fine.
Scene Seven
[17 February, 9:46PM. The living room at 221B Baker Street. John is watching telly. Sherlock is pacing the room, and talking on the phone.]
SHERLOCK: You’re sure? … Absolutely? … Ugh! Why of all the months since I met you do you choose this one in which to become competent. … No I’m not! This is absurd. Just…call me if you have anything. … No, anything at all. ... Yes, even if I’d think they were boring. … Shut up! [turns off his phone violently]
JOHN: What was that about?
SHERLOCK: Lestrade has no cases for me.
JOHN: Maybe you should start packing, then.
SHERLOCK: Absolutely not. I’m sure something will come up.
JOHN: Between now and 4:20 tomorrow morning?
SHERLOCK: 4:20!
JOHN: That’s when I booked the cab.
SHERLOCK: What? Why should we leave that early?
JOHN: Because our train tickets are for 5:20.
SHERLOCK: I am not leaving that early.
JOHN: I’ve already bought the tickets—non-refundable, non-exchangeable. We’re staying at the resort, so we can go to the park as early as 8:00. As it is, we’ll miss at least one hour at the happiest place on earth.
SHERLOCK: I’m going to bed.
JOHN: So you’ll be bright and chipper in the morning!
SHERLOCK: You can shut up, too.
Scene Eight
[February 18, 5:19AM. A car on the Eurostar, St. Pancras Station, waiting for departure. John is laughing to himself while he watches as Sherlock stares at his phone. A voice over the loudspeaker announces that the train is ready to depart.]
JOHN: Stop checking your phone, Sherlock. Lestrade probably isn’t even awake yet.
SHERLOCK: Because he doesn’t have a psychopathic flatmate.
JOHN [snorting]: You’re one to talk. Just accept it. We’re going.
SHERLOCK: Not definitely. We still have… [his phone buzzes] YES! Lestrade! Tell me you have something! … What?!?!? … Very funny. [he turns off his phone and shoves it into his coat pocket]
JOHN: That was a bit rude. You could have said goodbye before you hung up.
SHERLOCK: He just wanted to say he hoped I would have a good time.
JOHN: That was nice.
SHERLOCK: No, it wasn’t.
JOHN: Well, the train is moving, so that’s it. We’re going to Disneyland!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 06:49 am (UTC)Thanks.
Disneyland Paris pics
Date: 2011-02-07 02:56 am (UTC)Re: Disneyland Paris pics
Date: 2011-02-07 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 08:04 am (UTC)I think I can safely say that he won't react well to...well...anything.
:-P
no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 08:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 11:24 am (UTC)(In a good way, that is!)
:D
no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 12:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 09:18 pm (UTC)Here's hoping that we reach that potential in future chapters. :-D
no subject
Date: 2011-02-07 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-07 04:41 am (UTC)I haven't been to Disneyland paris, either...Doing a lot of research, though. :-)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-09 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-09 03:50 am (UTC)It's coming soon. Thanks for reviewing!
(and extra points for turning my Hamlet allusion on me. :-D :-D :-D )
no subject
Date: 2011-02-11 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-11 04:10 am (UTC)Tune in soon for the next act.
And thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you found it funny. :-)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 10:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 03:36 am (UTC)I hope it is not as smelly as a tauntaun, though... :-P
no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 03:58 am (UTC)